Feeling blues out of blue

The hectic weeks stoke back without failing to leave me in an exhausting feeling. With some projects needed to be executed, it was like a big stone stomped into my head that I felt numb and incapable. Started with the monthly committee meeting for hostel management in the first week, followed then by a motivation talk for hostel students, a short course on school based assessment for English subject and a motivation camp for national examination candidates for the second week. That were not all, I had to take charge of being as a head of sport house, coordinator for opening and closing ceremony and the best part was to be a TRAINER for the annual athletic event and “sukantara” which were organized and held in the following week.  Despite all of the events, I was reminded not to stray away too much from fulfilling my other job which is to take care of 169 “babies”.

The given responsibility was truly a challenge. I know there might be someone out there try to say that all I can do is whining and complaining. Trust me, you have no idea what’s going on. Nevertheless, no matter how tiring it was I tried to display some sanguine spirit in everything I do (p/s: side notes. I do this just so others to feel a bit annoyed and challenged of what I am capable of..haha). At certain point I can feel the pressure put on the shoulder was too heavy that I almost gave up everything I’ve been working on so far. Driven by the emotion and blues feeling, I had once isolated myself from my colleagues. I was not trying to escape from engaging in human relation but I really needed time for myself rather than spending half of working day talking about politics (another side notes: my colleagues can talk about politics for all day long and it annoys me sometimes..NO, all the time. I guess politic is not my cup of coffee).

No words can describe how tired I was that I can forget my friend’s name. It seemed that I had this memory lost kind of thing going on inside my head. Poor him when he actually needed to explain from “A to Z” about him just to trigger my memory. The best part was, from all of the explanation I could only recognized him right after he giggled. How dumb I was at that time. Last Friday, I got a text from a good friend of mine offering a package to Bandung with the lowest price. Only then, it hit on my thinking box. Why shouldn’t I take a break and fly off to somewhere? It has been a while I miss the thrill of departing and landing by a “giant bird”. Suddenly, all the good memoirs started to fill in the memory box of how exciting and wonderful my life was back in New Zealand. I miss everything. When is the next time I will be indulging myself with those wonderful experiences again? Only time can tell and MONEY can set everything up (waiting for the pay day cautiously..haha). Till then. Pray for me that I can survive for another 36 years in the profession. Fuuhhhh~